Been a long time since i last wrote about my college...so as the end approaches, i guess i'd better clear out the formalities, so here is a sketch of almost all the characters and terminology i think i deserve a place over here...(actually my sessionals start tomorrow, and as is customary, i'm getting all my creative ideas tonight):
1. Chemistry (Gay-mystery)
Don't remember plenty about him as mostly slept through his class after mid-sems, but from whatever i recollect of his lectures, most of his words end in '-ion' such as " The classification of lubrication by the definition of floccinaucinihilipilification..."...zzz... Popular theory says he is gay. (Well the theory is supported by his frequent blurb of "Meet me after the class." Offense intended.) Must confess though, haven't learnt much in chem classes. (Apart from the teacher's sexual orientation of course.)
2. E-Mech
I just simply hate E-mech just simply because the teacher just simply repeats 'just simply' ad nauseum. He brings a sheet for attendance to the class which we are supposed to sign and Mr. Professor is a self-declared handwriting expert so we don't put any proxies. Well ok, that's a lie. He teaches painfully slow and hardly finishes one sum in a period. So we have decided to play "Kar le kar le ek sawal" as the background theme whenever he enters. As a positive point, he is very prompt about tormenting us and always arrives five mins early.
And guess what, rumours say he is the HOD. Wtf!
3. The Dispensary Gang
The Dispensary Gang is the (downgoing) shittiest group in the Insti vulnerable to random accidents and disasters (Watch this blog for 100 amazing disasters@ BIT Mesra!!!) always at the service of BIT Dispensary. They take turns in getting in and out of the dispensary (like a public toilet). Well here is the dramatic reinterpretation:
Eyewitnesses say one guy was as usual damaged. His friend was taking him to the dispensary (no pizes for guessing their adda). So by the time they reached half the way, the count had increased to two as the other guy too had an accident (destiny spares none!). And when they finally arrived, it was reported an ambulance had to be called in for transporting the crowd.
Now most docs would suggest Dettol, but their favourite antiseptic toilet soap happens to be Liril, which they use thrice a day, without fail, performing their victory dance, with chants of "Jhingalala HOO".
PS: Strangely, girls form an essential part. Even more strangely, most of them purely by chance (and simply) belong to that place on earth called WB (not in India, honestly!!!).
4. Ishtuud
The Dispensary Gang believes this is the past tense of Ishtand, but they are assholes, so who cares. (just like 'slut' is not past perfect of 'slit', but that's a different story.) Some also believe it to be the Biharification of 'Stud', but it is actually the improvised and evolved state of Stud. So the life cycle goes like:
Ordinary Guy--->Stud----> Shtud---->Ishtuud---->Ishtylish Ishtuud---->Ishtylish Ishtinky Ishtuuud (existence not confirmed yet).
Confused? They are the popularestestest and the coolestestest and they can do pretty much anything under the sun without breaking much sweat. Powers are exceeded only by the VC.
Some Ishtuud quotes:
"Sexxyyy!!!"
" Abhi hum kuch aur soch rahe hain."
"Theek hai!"
"Kahe
"Abe
The postion for Ishtylish Ishtuud is highly coveted and there is cut-throat competition. However at least three known Ishtuuds exist.
Statutory warning: Don't try to be an Ishtuud at home, you may lose your life, or worse, sanity.
5. Truss
Truss is the new improved form of load. And as the custom goes, truss can be personalised as follows:
Suppose Deepika is a girl who is always loaded, (Name and gender changed to protect identity.) then truss can be measured as n(Deepika) such as 1 Deepika, 12 Deepika, 3/4 Deepika. The dimensionla formula is [M]^i[L]^i[T]^e.
6. RND Gang
Little is known about the gang or its members apart from the name and the Anthem which goes like:
"This is my rifle,
And this is my gun;
This is for fighting,
And this is for fun."
Go figure.
Postscript:
The Chin Fu-King-Whatshitovsky Theorem of Unfulfilled Aspirations
"An engineering student in his nth sem will almost everyday decide to start studying from n+1th sem, n<8"
{
Creative Inputs: Illad and Ynot
}
